


but they were never you

by peraltiagoisland



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/F, also, gina and rosa are idiots, the jake and amy is mostly referenced
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 05:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14348688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peraltiagoisland/pseuds/peraltiagoisland
Summary: Gina Linetti is good at everything, great at modesty, and the best at being an idiot with her feelings.As it turns out, so is Rosa.





	but they were never you

_“You know, in another lifetime, you and I would have made a hot ass couple.”_   

 

 

_“Agreed.”_

 

She means those words. Or, well, _word_. Summed up very curtly, just as much of a throwaway remark as Gina’s was. It’s a logical conclusion to make; after all, why _wouldn’t_ the two most formidable people in the squad make one hell of a pairing?

And, as so eloquently put by Gina’s silver tongue, what a _hot ass_ pair they would make indeed.

It’s such a pity Gina Linetti’s straight. Or well, not into girls. Or well, not into Rosa. Rosa’s not sure, and Rosa sure as hell isn’t asking—especially not now, seeing how the auburn haired girl one could only dream of having has a child with a man she’s in a committed relationship with (as people normally are when they have a kid together).

What’s an even bigger pity is how Rosa’s heart twists itself apart at the hypothetical phrasing she uses, the way the idea of them has never even been considered in this lifetime. Not that Rosa hasn’t considered it, though. She has. One too many times.

Quite pathetic, actually, is a way to describe Rosa, and the way she secretly pines after Gina. She’s not like, madly in love with her or anything. Gina has just always been a consideration of hers. A person that she got along well with, well enough that Rosa would have dated her if she could. Someone she just knows in her gut she’d be great together with.

But yeah, as said, she’s not madly in love with her or anything. And when her soul broke into shards when Gina was hit by that bus all those months ago? That wasn’t love—okay, that was love, but that wasn’t _romantic_ love.

Never mind that it was Rosa and only Rosa who threw herself into her work, unhealthily affecting her personal life. Never mind that it was Rosa and only Rosa who had to leave the room when the squad first went to visit Gina in the hospital after her accident. Never mind that it was Rosa and only Rosa who hid in a bathroom and had a panic attack because seeing Gina lying unconscious in a hospital bed was too much to handle.

So yeah, she happens to have a bit of a soft spot for Gina. But who wouldn’t? After all, she herself once said _“It’s only normal for the people in my life to drown in the arms of depression whenever something bad happens to me–“_

She then went on to talk about how that was why everyone just _had_ to donate to her PayPal to fix the spandex of her performing outfit. But context isn’t important, especially with regards to most things Gina says.

So yeah, she’s not in love with Gina, but deep down Rosa sees her as a missed opportunity that was never hers to take. But the fact that she’s even having these thoughts at all is rather pathetic, as stated. Shameful, really. Because she’s seeing someone, and she’s happy, she truly is, and it’s going great—so there’s no reason for Rosa to be thinking about Gina at all.

 

* * *

 

Two months later, she breaks up with Tiffany.

No, it’s not at all prompted by Gina and Milton breaking up. Of course not. Why would it be? Tiffany and Rosa just had irreconcilable differences that they were unable to get over.

And by that Rosa means she bought tomato soup and drank the entire bowl. For the second (2) time in their relationship. And as Rosa watched her slurp her supper, she couldn’t help but think about how Gina would have the exact same disturbed expression on her face if she had been there with her.

But no, of course, Gina Linetti has nothing to do with why yet another relationship of hers has fizzled.

 

* * *

 

_“Come on, what’s your girlfriend’s real name?”_

_“I told you, it’s Tiffany.” Rosa spins the Twister wheel. “Right hand blue, Boyle.”_

_“But that’s the fake name you gave us! Tiffany doesn’t even sound like a real name!”_

_“Ugh,” Gina shrugs, sprawling over Rosa’s couch like she owns it, and Rosa hates to think about how Gina doesn’t look at all out of place in her apartment. How she seems to perfectly belong. “It’s not like she’ll tell us. Let’s just call her Becky.”_

 

That time, strangely, Rosa wasn’t lying. Her (then) girlfriend, really was named Tiffany. Although to be fair, Rosa had lied about how “Tiffany” was a fake name she made up so that the squad wouldn’t look her up. Thinking that her girlfriend’s actual name was a fake one would guarantee no one looking her up at all.

Really, the one person Rosa truly meant to lie to about her girlfriend’s identity was Gina. Sure, she might not have done it on account of the fact that Rosa was dating a girl, but Gina had a habit of looking up guys she was dating and making fun of them, especially in terms of how they were unsuited for Rosa. It was something that would irk her, because Gina was most often right.

So yes, Rosa’s lied to Gina numerous times to escape some “fun” truth bombs about people she’s dating. Rosa’s also lied to Gina for many other unrelated reasons.

The first time Rosa Diaz lied to Gina Linetti? That was in the summer of 2009, on Gina’s first day at the Nine-Nine.

Rosa remembers escaping to the roof one morning, in an attempt to escape Amy’s forty hour speech about how Captain McGintley could improve things in the police station, how he could do a better job of running the precinct. And whether the contents of Amy’s speech would actually last forty hours was irrelevant, because as much as Rosa cared about her fellow detective, it would have _felt_ like forty hours to her.

She’s on the roof for like a minute when she hears footsteps behind her, approaching, and she sighs because Amy probably found her and is about to chew her out, or someone saw her sneak away and is about to chew her out.

Either way, not good.

“Look, I just needed a little break. Sometimes work can be hard to handle.”

“Cool. I’m just here because I was following a hot girl to the roof.”

Rosa’s heart nearly skips a beat. Both because of the unfamiliarity of the voice and also because of the unexpected compliment.

“Uh, what–“

“And don’t you dare think that I don’t know you’re here only because you were trying to escape that pantsuit lady. I don’t blame you though. I came up here because I was afraid she’d target me next.”

Rosa crosses her arms and a smirk rises up her face. “I thought you came up here because you were following a hot girl.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Diaz. You’re not my type.”

“You’re not my type either.” _That’s it. That’s the lie._ “Why do you know my name and not Amy’s?”

“Your desk is across from mine. I just had to turn my head right a little,” she smiles. “As for Amy, well. I only know her so far as the lady who wears nerdy pantsuits that my boy Jake badly wants to bang for some reason. He hasn’t admitted it, but boy wants it bad. I guess if you remove all the nerd she has a somewhat bone-able feel to her. Still not my type though.”

“Is anything your type?”

“Hmm, you seem oddly interested. Why is that, Rosa?”

Rosa rolls her eyes, because she’s not sure if this girl is into girls or if she’s just a straight girl who loves to mess with women like her. “Trust me, hard pass.”

“I never offered myself up in the first place.”

“Whatever,” Rosa scoffs. “How do you know Jake?”

“We grew up together, he just got me a job here. Say hello to your new and improved Civilian Administrator. Whatever that is.”

Somehow, Rosa has a sinking feeling that Gina isn’t going to be great at her job. Yet, she never wants this girl to leave, for some reason.

“Jake didn’t mention you.” To be fair, however, Rosa doesn’t keep track of what Jake says very often. Maybe Amy remembers.

“Well, I guess he’s dead to me now. He probably spends all his time here flirting with the pantsuit warrior. What do you think their fate is? Will they give into their desires and do the nasty for a night? Will things end badly and result in sweet Amy leaving our precinct in tears?”

“I think Jake’s more likely to be the one in tears if things end badly.”

Gina cracks up, and Rosa finds herself chortling along too, simply because of how addictive Gina’s giggles are.

“I like that, you’re absolutely right,” Gina continues. “You can stay.”

“Stay? Stay where?”

“In this precinct. As a detective. You can keep your job.”

Rosa raises her eyebrow. “That’s not up to you to determine.”

“Sure it is.”

Gina Linetti walks away, and for some strange reason, Rosa Diaz decides to follow. No, she’s not interested in Gina at all, doesn’t want to hang out with her more at all. Her stomach is free, from any sort of butterflies, that’s for sure.

And over the years, Rosa definitely, _definitely_ , does not develop any feelings for Gina Linetti.

 

* * *

 

“Well you’re in luck, because I have the perfect girl for you, and I’m actually texting with her right now.”

Rosa almost sighs with a dread so powerful it would’ve cut through the floor, through all the levels of the precinct. She already doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t care what legendary, powerful, fantastically gorgeous woman Gina might want to set her up with.

_The one she wants is already sitting across from her._

Rosa regrets the day Gina first set her up with someone. She regrets the actions, chain of events that led up to it. And most of all, she regrets saying yes.

 

* * *

_“Great bathroom,” Gina remarks as she steps out. The games are dwindling down, and one by one, everyone leaves. “Just realized I haven’t been to your_ _new_ _place until today. A pity."_

_“That’s because I don’t let anyone come over. But thanks, I put a lot of thought into this bathroom. I had a feeling you’d like it.”_

_“Hmm. It’s good... but I think I like ours better,” she winks._

_And Rosa swears, in that moment_ _,_ _she has to ignore the skip of a beat in her heart._

 

She holds back Gina’s hair, those practically immaculate curls, gently patting her back as she hurls. Gina grips onto the toilet seat for dear life, whilst Rosa’s practically kneeling on the floor as she takes care of her. It’s a relief Rosa decided to take them here instead of the ladies room, AKA the one all the other women use that’s very very disgusting.

Maybe Gina’s too drunk to remember any of this, so it won’t matter that Rosa brought her here, and she’ll still be the only one who knows about the secret bathroom, like she intended.

“Okay, I think I’m better,” she quakes, slowly getting up to head for the sink, which prompts Rosa to move away from her and flush the toilet as Gina washes her mouth out.

When she’s done, Gina seems much better than how she had been at the rave, which was, well, a state that Rosa won’t get into out of respect for Gina. She continues to look a little off and under the weather, but starts looking around the bathroom whilst Rosa sprays some air freshener.

“You know what this place could use?” Gina wonders out loud. “A bed.”

“This is a bathroom, Gina,” Rosa reminds, hoping that this is a sign of delirium that will lead to Gina recalling nothing tomorrow.

“Fine, a couple of throw cushions then. Wait—no, a carpet! A carpet’s more important. We need a rug made out of wolf fur. And maybe some weird crystals in a vase made out of glass...”

She begins pacing around the room and making all sorts of very specific suggestions; Rosa no longer thinks that she’s going to forget any of this. Both herself and Gina.

Somehow, after they leave Babylon (this name was Gina’s idea) together, trading ideas to spruce the bathroom up back and forth, Rosa finds that she’s okay with Gina knowing about her secret bathroom.

Because it’s _their_ secret bathroom now.

 

* * *

“Hey,” Rosa walks up to Gina’s desk, roughly three hours after their last secret trip to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. They’ve made numerous trips there, and each trip has been nothing short of hilarious, flirty fun. There’s been lingering touches here and there, and Rosa’s been on the receiving end of most of them. She knows there’s something there, knows that she hasn’t been imagining things. Gina makes her heart race in highly embarrassing ways she’s never experienced with such intensity before. She never feels more alive than when she’s with this woman.

And that’s why Rosa’s about to tell Gina where they’re going on their first date.

“Oh, you’re here, perfect–“ Gina interrupts, looking away from her phone and then locking eyes with Rosa, which is fine with her because she’s not in a rush. Their date won’t start for several hours. “I wanted to talk to you.”

The glee surrounding Gina’s entire demeanor brings a smile to Rosa’s face. This girl is so cute, cuter than she gets credit for, with more charms than one could count. Perhaps she’s about to beat Rosa to the chase and ask her out on a date.

“I want you to meet my friend Justin! Girl, before you say anything, my dude is perfect for you. He’s a tattoo artist, he owns a _motorcycle_ –“

“Wait.” Rosa’s gut feels punched. “Are you... are you setting me up on a date?”

Gina breaks out into a brilliant, yet vaguely questioning grin. “Yeah! It’s the least I could do, since you introduced me to the best part of my life. I never thought I’d be the mother of the most gorgeous bathroom to grace this god damn earth, but here we are.”

Rosa tries not to focus on how Gina basically referred to herself and therefore Rosa as supposed co-parents, albeit over a bathroom. She also tries not to focus on the sound of her heart breaking.

She clears her throat, because not doing so would result in Gina hearing how tortured her voice might sound.

“So... are you game or not?” Gina asks, confusion at Rosa’s lack of a response. “Because Justin’s picking you up at six.”

Rosa swallows hard. She can’t believe how stupid she’s been. Of course Gina wasn’t interested in her like that, of course Gina wasn’t even interested in _girls_ like that. Rosa’s almost glad that this happened, because if she hadn’t been interrupted by Gina she would’ve went on to ask her out on a date like an idiot, gotten laughed at, and shut down. Again, like an idiot. Rejected, for the first time in her life too, which would be a disgrace.

“Sure. Uh, I gotta go, go work on this case now.”

“You do what you gotta.”

Gina goes back on her phone like nothing’s different.

Rosa walks away with tears in her eyes.

 

* * *

 

Her blind date with Justin goes horribly, with Rosa just straight up telling him it’s not going to work out halfway through their date.

(It’s entirely her fault. She heaved a sigh of relief when she saw that Justin’s motorbike was a Yamaha, glad that she now had an excuse for the entire date tanking.)

She spends quite a while convincing herself that she doesn’t like Gina Linetti. Because she is a straight girl, and Rosa Diaz does not pine after straight girls. In fact, the very fact that Gina is straight should be off-putting in and of itself. Having a teensy, tiny bout of feelings for Gina was merely a momentary lapse in judgement, a small window of weakness that Gina inadvertently climbed into and nurtured.

She doesn’t like Gina Linetti. Not at all.

 

* * *

 

It’s even more painful to get set up with Gina’s female friends than it is with her male ones, somehow. Heck, how Gina knows so many lesbians is a mystery to Rosa. She doesn’t know enough queer women herself, which is a pity. Maybe if she had spent more time expanding her gay circle, she wouldn’t be secretly pining after a straight girl.

Her feelings for Gina come and go. Which in this case means that sometimes Rosa can ignore her feelings for Gina, to the point where she can go about her life, have some sparks with other people; she can think about and see Gina without something indescribable bursting inside. She can, on a good day, convince herself that she actually _hates_ Gina Linetti, for some strange reason. On an even better day, she won’t think about Gina altogether.

“This is Trishelle."

It takes all of Rosa’s mustered restraint to keep herself from cringing at the girl’s name. She already hates this, hates that Gina will be leaving right after introducing her friend to Rosa. Rosa can’t believe any of this. Come to think of it, she’s never let anyone set her up on a blind date before. Why she lets Gina Linetti get away with things she’d never let anyone else so much as suggest is beyond her.

(Okay, so it’s not actually beyond her, but it’s something that would be rude of her to think about while she’s on a date.)

The date ends up tanking, especially because a cute bartender who actually knows what a good drink is keeps talking to her, and Rosa ends up tuning out whatever Tremily is saying. Wait, what was her name again?

Anyway, Aubrey (the bartender) turns out to be witty and much better company than Tricole. Who, ends up leaving early because she was feeling tired, and somehow not at all bothered to see Rosa talking to someone who’s not her.

Aubrey closes up the bar, and Rosa goes home with her. She likes Aubrey, she really does. But, like all the other people she’s liked and met after knowing Gina, she has to ignore how her heart pumps less wildly than it would for a certain someone.

 

* * *

 

Gina slowly rocks a sleeping Iggy in her arms. Her baby hums softly and has the most angelic smile on her face. She’s the light of Gina’s life, which is not something she had expected, but it’s the truth now.

The front door opens and Trishelle walks in.

“How’d the date go?”

“Terribly.”

“Great,” Gina has to force herself not to grit her teeth. “So... she went home with Aubrey?”

“I’m assuming so. They seemed to hit it off, especially when I was talking about skinny margaritas. Seriously, what _does_ she have against that drink?” Trishelle collapses on Gina’s couch with a sigh.

“She’s Rosa Diaz, she’d never consciously admit to liking a cocktail. Or any form of alcohol that’s not in a bottle.” Gina bites her lip after she says this. She doesn’t bite too hard, of course, because no way is she letting anything happen to her full and beautiful mouth.

“Margarita can come in a bottle.”

“Ugh,” Gina groans, rolling her eyes. “No one cares, Trishelle!”

Trishelle swallows her disdain, because she knows that that anger isn’t actually meant for her. “Right. Not the point. Let’s discuss the real issue here: why are you setting Rosa Diaz up with other girls if you’re so clearly in love with her?”

This question drops on Gina like a boulder straight on top of her chest. Her lungs collapse, just for a moment, because she quickly blinks away the pain.

“Because it’s too late for me now,” she says, trying to sound cool and casual, and not like she’s masking the way hundreds of needles are piercing her heart. “She’ll never see me as more than a friend. But... I still want her to be happy.”


End file.
